Reality Is Almost Always Wrong

Goes ding when there's stuff.

s&afroghammer
Jayne L. serrico
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New Vid! Heh. Oh my, yes.
It's Friday! THANK. GOD. *prostrates* And if it's Friday, you know what that means!

I'll give you two hints: pretty to look at, starts with 's'.

That's right: STRIPPERS.

:D?

Pornstar Dancing
Source: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Burn Notice, Carnivale, Community, Doctor Who, Dollhouse, Firefly, Merlin, Slings & Arrows, Smallville, Spartacus, Supernatural, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, The Vampire Diaries, Torchwood, White Collar
Music: My Darkest Days
Vid: Jayne L. (serrico)
Warnings: skin. Enough to be NSFW.
Format: .avi | 50MB
Download: right click, save as.
Streaming: YouTube.

Being a thoughtful, sensitive, and nuanced examination of gendered expressions and characterisations of desire. (Also known as: Let's Objectify Men.)

PORNSTAR DANCING by My Darkest Days feat. Chad Kroeger

Kelly won't kiss my friend Cassandra
Jessica won't play ball
Mandy won't share her friend Miranda
Doesn't anybody live at all

Amanda won't leave me empty-handed
Got her number from a bathroom stall
Brandy just got way too much baggage
And that shit just gets old

But I got a girl who can put on a show
The dollar decides how far it can go

She wraps those hands around that pole
She licks those lips and off we go
She takes it off nice and slow
'Cause that's pornstar dancing
She don't play nice, she makes me beg
She drops that dress around her legs
And I'm sitting right by the stage
For this pornstar dancing

Your body's lighting up the room
I want a naughty girl like you
There's nothing harder to do

Stacy's gonna save herself for marriage
But that's just not my style
She's got a pair that's nice to stare at
But I want girls gone wild

I know a place where there's always a show
The dollar decides how far it can go

[Chorus]

[Bridge]

[Chorus]



The first time I heard this song, my immediate reaction was, "Is this thing ever crying out for a genderbend." It was a flippant reaction, and as soon as the song was over, I thought no more about it. But then, through the bedrock-reliability of the local rock station's overnight "shuffle", I heard the damn thing at least once a night every work night for months; over time, the flippant reaction became the germ of an idea, which in turn became an evil chortle, and a couple weeks ago, I knew I had to make the attempt.

To be clear: I think this song, while catchy, is lyrically godawful. Because I like to try to think reasonably well of people until they prove me wrong, I choose to believe that the guys of My Darkest Days wrote so baldly about Brandy's baggage and Stacy's *wince* pair because they were at least partially intent on being satirical. Satire was certainly my intent with this vid, so I hope, if they or any of their people ever come across it, they'll respond to my artistic endeavour with the same generosity of spirit I did theirs.

*cough* *beam*

Random things:

--When it comes to male shirtlessness, Smallville is generous to a fault. Like, I'm pretty sure I could've made the entire vid just with SV footage; as it is, I made a conscious decision to focus only on Clark, and even then I had to restrain myself from using him as an automatic go-to whenever I got stuck for beefcake, because there are just so many skin shots to work with.

--For all that I'm never able to respond to White Collar with anything but guttural noises and drool, I feel dirty for putting Neal in this thing. He's just so classy.

--I'm not going to get into the Serious Thoughts that actually went into certain parts of this, because part of the reason I made the vid at all was because I thought a vid was the best delivery system for what I wanted to say about this song. (This vid is unique for me, in that I made it primarily to comment on the song. Usually, when I vid, I start with something I want to explore in the visual source's narrative, and find a song to fit; this time, I started with the song--specifically, with my particular response to the song, ie my kneejerk "What if these lyrics were applied to men?" need to goose-and-gander the thing--and sought out the clips that fit the lyrics.) I will say three things, though:

1) As coincidentally fortuitous as "Cassandra" and "Jessica" were, "Brandy" was a very deliberate pairing of character and lyric.

2) I didn't intend to use the "pornstar dancers" as direct metaphors for certain characters in certain culturally-significant mythologies. That...kinda just happened. And in the kinda-just-happening, it supported a theme of male power in relation to sexual objectification that I thought worked well, so I kept it. It was a happy accident! *g*

3) Imagine for a moment, if you will, a vid that played this song straight.

...yeah.

--In making this vid, I've broken one of the cardinal rules of my life, to whit, that I should never do anything that might, conceivably, in some insignificant manner, contribute to the success of Chad Kroeger's career. I take small comfort in the fact that, although I did obtain this song legally, it was a free download, so I still haven't actually given the man a cent of money.

...small comfort. Small comfort. *cling*

This content is also available at http://serrico.dreamwidth.org/692689.html. Comment here or there, whichever you prefer. (Over there, there are comment count unavailable comments.)

THAT. WAS. AWESOME. *standing ovation*

Thank you! And thanks very much for the rec. :) I'm glad you liked it!

THIS IS MAGNIFICENT. Brb, watching it on repeat for the rest of the day.

(Also, I love your notes as much as I love the vid. You ROCK.)

There kind of *had* to be notes to go along with this. Just to avoid the thing where people might've thought I made this thing wholly in earnest. *g*

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. :)

GUH.

AWESOME. With a capital AWE.

Hee! Thanks. *g* (There was a time when Lionel's shirtlessness in 'Mercy' was going to be included in this thing. Timing, however, did away with that possibility. Alas.)

Beauty! I don't even watch a lot of the shows you used clips from and it was still very fun. My favorite moment was the sword/pool cue twirl. That was awesome.

Thanks! I'm glad it worked for you, even without knowing a lot of the source. (But then, shirtless men do tend to be accessible, visually... *g*)

BRA-FUCKING-VO.

Thank you! And thanks for the rec, too. *g*

That was so fantastic. Some of the transitions there were just... I think at the Spike-Jack-Angel-John bit I was just waving my hands at the computer.

I have to second loving the sword/pool cue twirl. But it's probably tied for me with just the shot of the knights on horseback. I cracked up. The timing on that is perfect.

Also, that clip where Clark is dancing shirtless in the barn and makes the whoo! whoo! motion? That should be in every vid ever.

I will be re-watching this many times.

Thanks! I...actually don't recall how I decided on pairing Merlin with Community, but I kinda like how that turned out, too. *g*

Clark dancing like the shirtless dork that he is in the barn is, indeed, a versatile clip. I agree that it should be in more things.

I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for watching. :)

This is brilliant. The commentary is clear but it's also, well, full of pretty eye candy. Though I'm a bit disturbed by how hot I found Joel McHale in this. And oh, Ian Somerhalder, you wriggle those hips *sigh*.

Heh, I was just browsing through your other uploads, and the fact that you've uploaded a clip of Stefan confronting Helena makes my day :)

There is a serious dearth of Cassadine Family Dysfunction clips on YouTube; I *had* to contribute what I'd saved for a rainy day. (The acting on display...man, I *miss* the GH that had *that*. *sigh*)

I must confess: the eyecandy was not an insignificant factor in my decision to make this. *g* (I am *continually* disturbed by how attractive Community makes Mr McHale. It's unsettling!)

Thanks! :)

OMG. SO awesome.

I have to confess, I take this as my sign that Community has hit the fandom big time!

Hee! Community has certainly made some fannish inroads over the past year, yes. *g*

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. :)

AWESOME.

Though slight nitpick: I believe your Paul Gross naked-with-fire clip is from "Eastwick," not "Slings & Arrows." :-)

Still. AWESOME. I love the intercutting of Arthur-Jeff-sword-pool cue. That was a really cool effect, and I could never get two motion-y clips like that to synch up that well in a million patient years. You are clearly skilled and I bow down. *g*

Thanks! (Although the Paul-Gross-naked-with-fire clip is from S&A: ep 1.05, 'A Mirror Up To Nature', Geoffrey's dream about how to stage Hamlet. If he did a full-backal for Eastwick, it was after I stopped watching--but now I'm tempted to go back and see what I missed! *g*)

The Arthur-Jeff intercutting turned out much better than I thought it would when I first set out to try it; I'm glad it worked for you! :)

I fourth or fifth the pool cue/sword parallel. That was absolutely BRILLIANT. But there were so many other awesome visuals in this. Loved the knights all lining up in front of Morgana. Loved all the uses of Classy!Neal.

Speaking of which, should you choose to further explore gendered expressions, when he's forging the fake blue diamond ala Iron Man in this season's "What Happens in Burma," it is one of the hottest things I've seen in a long time.

Thank you! Frankly, when the subjects are as pretty as mine were, it's hard *not* to end up with pleasing visuals. *g*

when he's forging the fake blue diamond

It's funny you should mention that, because for a while I had an extended sequence of Sweaty!Labouring!Neal from '...Burma' in that first bridge section. Because yes indeed, that is a *lovely* scene. ;D

Mmm... so hot! Love this ♥

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. :)

Oh the hilarity. That was awesome.

Thanks! :)

I fucking love you.

Hee! Thank you. :)

This is loads of fun. Neal and his friend Miranda, Simon and his baggage, the sword thrusting into and out of the stone, the round table stripping, the giant disembodied eyeball, the girl only pretending to cover her eyes, the juxtapositions of the same actor going further or not on different networks... It's all very catchy.

Thank you! All that stuff amused me, so I'm happy to have amused other people, too. 'Cause that's...never a guarantee. *g*

I'm glad you liked it!

Love this vid! When I first heard the song on the radio, I was torn between amused and horrified, because I really couldn't tell how seriously to take it. Had I known someone would turn it into a really fantastic genderbent vid, I might have settled on the amused side.

The concept is very fun, the eye candy is delightful in it's own right, and there's such excellent timing throughout -- fromNeal's hat flip, through the various characters doing pull-ups, all the way to the final flare-up of flames on Geoffrey's stage. Well done!

"Torn between amused and horrified" pretty much sums it up, I think. *g* I really *do* hope the song's supposed to be satirical...but deep down, the doubts are there.

Thank you! I'm glad you like what I did with it. :)

I love this! SO MUCH! What a perfect reversal. Downloading now to keep forEVAR. *ovation*

Re:

Yay! *bows* Thank you. *g*

This is far too much fun, and a brilliant take on a dodgy song. I love that you used Winger's naked pool playing.

"Dodgy" is, I think, being kind. *g* The naked pool *had* to be included; it was one of the first things I wrote down on my list of sources during the planning phase of this thing. :)

Thank you!

Oh, Baby! You really can't argue with that! Great job. Thanks for making this and sharing it with us.

Hee! Thanks for watching! I'm glad you liked it. :)

FUN AND HILARIOUS! \o/ *clappy hands*

Yay! Clappyhands make me happy. :) Thank you!

Really really awesome!!! I enjoyed this a lot!!!

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. :)

This is apparently everything I've ever wanted because now LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HURTS. I'll cherish this forever.

Hee! I'm so happy to have provided fulfillment in the form of scantily-clad men. *g*

Thank you for watching! (And thank you so much for the rec! :)

Great vid!

Thank you!

This is excellent. I understand what you mean about the song being problematic, but I think the twist defuses a lot of the problems.

It should be stated here that I think shirtless/naked Joel McHale fixes a lot of problems, of course. :D

I's...a pretty awful song, basically. And, therefore, so *ripe* for poking at in vid form! The excuse to include lots of shirtless/naked Joel McHale was a bonus. *g*

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. :)

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